I spent a lifetime
Once, trying to love you right
Didn't work, sorry
SunrisesI want to fall asleep with you
and run my hand up and down your spine
counting the ridges as I go
I want to feel your breath on mine
from shallow to deep with aching sleep
and barely brushing my eyelashes
I want to place my hand on your hip
and run my thumb over it, softly
just to watch your eyes flutter
I want to push your hair out of my face
when you turn and nudge into my neck
and your nose presses to my cheek
I want to fall in love with you
as the sun rises early morning
and casts an orange glow around the room
UntitledI am the wind howling in the eaves
pacing the trails of your dragging knees
I watch as you mourn, gaze as
your darkened eyes hollow out
little by little, day by day
You do not see me and I, not you
I gather the clues you leave behind
I piece them together in my mind
with the string unraveled from your guise
But when I find you, when I see you
I do not expect your forlorn figure, lined
in moonlight, crumpled between
I acknowledge you will have faded
your drawling footsteps will have ended there
And I may whistle around the spot you have been
but I will not see you; you have not lived
So close and
I'm so very different than you
I cannot win you dearly pallid
Ivory sullen and ghastly
Face sunken in your love in me
Your cheekbones are visibly silver
I only wish
I could lose you
My transparency child
BlackYour fingers drape on porcelain skin
They blind me in the blacklight
Ebony and pale and all inbetween
Who could love another but you?
For you are the one of the eclipse
UV rays on sunlit days
The satellite to my star
And D, all of the above
I only wish
I could hold you
A Cliche Killjoy FanFic Chapter 2ZERO HERO'S P.O.V.
Done and done, I thought as I strolled out of the back door to the BL/ind hospital, pushing a cart of oxygen tanks in front of me. I was a drac, nobody cared. I grinned under my drac mask as I loaded the oxygen tanks, one by one, into the back of the car. Thirty tanks were loaded, and Neg and I were ready to go. I pushed the cart away from me, and climbed in the front seat.
It took my a second to realize there was no Negative Grenade. "Negative?!" I called frantically, twisting around in my seat. "Neegaative?" There was no answer, of course, just an eerie silence and an empty space where Negative should have been. "Negative, don't kid!" Stumbling out of my car, I saw there was a troupe of draculoids heading towards me. By now I had taken off my mask. There was nowhere to hide.
Instead, I jumped back in the car and pressed. It sped forward; this was my only desperate attempt to get away. The bulle
A Cliche Killjoy FanFic Chapter 1ZERO HERO'S P.O.V.
It's almost been a year out here in the desert. A year since I pulled the IV line out of Negative Grenade and wheeled his gurney out of the hospital, boxes and boxes of medication beside him. A year since the second trip back to retrieve the carts of oxygen tanks needed for Neg's survival. Two years since Neg himself was diagnosed with lung cancer - the specific name unknown.
Neg and I haven't even met the Fabulous Killjoys yet. At least, not the main four. We've definitely met several out here in the zones, people like House Rules and Atomic Nucleus(she really liked science, by the way). Mostly I've been keeping myself away from them, though, hiding myself and Negative Grenade in an abandoned shed along the road. We meet the 'Joys to stock up on food and catch up on news around the zones. But still, most of our information comes from Dr. Death Defying's radio station.
Today was oxygen day
Live Life, Be BraveSo the morning has once again broken
Into shattered pieces of a brand new day
And I’m trying to avoid asking myself
If I’m here and if I’m feeling okay
You see, yesterday I fractured my mind
Now today I am avoiding the cracks
That pave my path towards recovery
But one day I promise I’ll get back
‘You will get back to where exactly?’
With puzzled faces I hear my friends ask
To a point where I feel I am capable
Of completing simple every day tasks
That each one of you will take for granted
But are the fabric of my sanity
That I will weave into a blanket of hope
To shelter my mind from misery
Now the evening has once again arrived
Bright lights ask if I am here or there
So long as I am where I am loved
My reflection and I don’t really care
Because I know I am stronger than this
I am more than the intrusions my mind craves
A 'no entry' sign now greets them at my door
It’s time to just live life and be brave
SeafoamI think that perhaps I will live life alone
And die silent and soft in my vagabond home
Outlive the people who still know my name
And through my departure, leave earth just the same
I'll leave no one behind me to cry in the night
I'll leave no great sorrow or absence of light
But if I end up leaving someone behind
And I sleep, uninvited in thoughts in your mind
I have no great wisdom to banish your sorrow
No special thoughts for a brighter tomorrow
But please, dear friend, if you find yourself able
Don't strap me down to a cold metal table
Don't paint my face or polish my nails
Or set me up in a box and peer in through the rails
Just wrap me in cotton and rock me to sleep
And lower me into the billowing deep
Don't let me rot in a box in a grave
I want to dissolve into seafoam and waves
Stand UpYou let them hold you down, with fear,
Their cruel words are all you hear,
And you wont speak up, from where you lay,
If you don't stand up, here you'll stay.
Were both survivors, you and I,
But you'll never be free if you don't try,
I know its easier to stay this way,
But you only have this one chance to break away.
Stand up, stand your ground,
Use the voice you just found,
This is all a game you'll no longer play,
Because if you let them win then you will pay.
They can't hold you down forever,
Use your brain, you're much too clever,
To let them walk all over you,
You're stronger than that, you know its true.
Because you're stronger than you've seemed,
And smarter than they've gleamed,
You're better than them by far,
Stand up, show them who you are.
Too ColdThe day is long,
the wine has gone...
I’ve nothing left to offer.
And outside there,
are trees stripped bare,
I think, with me, they suffer.
The cosy fire
retains your ire,
It does not warm me through.
The ashes shift,
as did the rift,
that widened as rifts do.
I count the hours
and icy showers.
Outside - chill winds do blow
thin and comfortless.
It’s cold enough for snow.
I wait for night,
to ease my plight,
to pile the blankets on.
But no amount
of blankets now
can warm me since you’ve gone.
MonsterThe light that shined in your eyes for me has been darkened forevermore
My mistakes have done more damage than my words can restore.
I wish that I could rewind time and stop myself from causing you pain
You tried so hard for so long to help me, but I threw it all down the drain.
I let one tear become more important than the millions of smiles you had painted upon my face
I took for granted the heart that you trusted me with, a precious thing that nothing can replace.
So tightly to me, did you once cling
And in return I made you feel like your sacrifices didn't mean a thing.
I hate myself for all that I have done
For destroying the heart that could shine brighter than the sun.
I wrapped my hands around it and squeezed until I felt it breaking
All that we had wanted and worked for, I was forsaking.
Had I not become this monster, I would never have to feel lonely
Both now and then, I have loved and wanted you only.
But I only thought of myself and didn't see you losing your smile
Rebuild my hope.I think I lost you..
Gone for more than 3 months, and still missing.
You were always there.
You wrapped up my blade before it reached my skin.
You lifted my frown into a smile.
You pumped fresh blood into my no longer beating heart.
The walls were crimson, the floor sapphire.
Hope was nothing, but a last name.
I was laying down on that cyber hospital bed, recovery slow to come.
Then you walked in with a gust of letters.
You knew me when I was of my last name, you know me as I am with my current.
Or do you?
I want to talk to you so bad.
I want to make crazy plans with you again.
I just want your speech in my inbox.
Just to know you're okay..
Just to know.
You dedicated your life to relighting the fires in the dampened eyes.
You dedicated your life to build the walls that have slowly crumbled.
I dedicated my life to become as great as you..
The world is cold.
It's now colder without you.
I just want one letter..
Just to know you're okay.
Just to know that you aren
Burn My AshesI wouldn't say I've changed
Simply just rearranged
And in my heart I've moved on
But I gave up on the dawn
If I can help enough to move along
Maybe I’ll find a fitting song
One that shows the joys and the pains
That every day runs through my veins
They gave me meds to help me think
But every day I felt my heart sink
I can’t feel my own desires
Perhaps once more I’ll feel the fires
Don't CrySoak your hands in blood
From my hearts final flood
After all of my pain
At last it can drain
I’m tired of being alone
But my heart has turned to stone
The doors have been sealed
I will never be healed
I know someday I’ll die
But I hope you won’t cry
You never should have cared
My pain should not be shared
It’s mine to carry
And mine to bury
But its hold was too great
I broke loose too late
BeholderThey said to me, "Describe the sun."
I said, "A ball of light,
A source of warmth – the greatest one –
Too bright for mortal sight."
They said to me, "Describe the sea."
I said, "Where beauty sleeps,
A vast expanse of life – all free –
For you and me, too deep."
They said to me, "Describe the sky."
I said, "A seat for clouds,
Where birds and bees – and we – all fly,
Where Angels prayed and bowed."
And then, they left me, for – they said,
My speech was much too brief.
For longer lines, they went ahead,
And I? I sighed, "Relief!"
For they had said, "Your love, describe,"
I'd have been stumped awhile,
For what's the Sun, the sea, the sky,
Beside your brilliant smile?