I spent a lifetime
Once, trying to love you right
Didn't work, sorry
SunrisesI want to fall asleep with you
and run my hand up and down your spine
counting the ridges as I go
I want to feel your breath on mine
from shallow to deep with aching sleep
and barely brushing my eyelashes
I want to place my hand on your hip
and run my thumb over it, softly
just to watch your eyes flutter
I want to push your hair out of my face
when you turn and nudge into my neck
and your nose presses to my cheek
I want to fall in love with you
as the sun rises early morning
and casts an orange glow around the room
UntitledI am the wind howling in the eaves
pacing the trails of your dragging knees
I watch as you mourn, gaze as
your darkened eyes hollow out
little by little, day by day
You do not see me and I, not you
I gather the clues you leave behind
I piece them together in my mind
with the string unraveled from your guise
But when I find you, when I see you
I do not expect your forlorn figure, lined
in moonlight, crumpled between
I acknowledge you will have faded
your drawling footsteps will have ended there
And I may whistle around the spot you have been
but I will not see you; you have not lived
So close and
I'm so very different than you
I cannot win you dearly pallid
Ivory sullen and ghastly
Face sunken in your love in me
Your cheekbones are visibly silver
I only wish
I could lose you
My transparency child
BlackYour fingers drape on porcelain skin
They blind me in the blacklight
Ebony and pale and all inbetween
Who could love another but you?
For you are the one of the eclipse
UV rays on sunlit days
The satellite to my star
And D, all of the above
I only wish
I could hold you
A Cliche Killjoy FanFic Chapter 2ZERO HERO'S P.O.V.
Done and done, I thought as I strolled out of the back door to the BL/ind hospital, pushing a cart of oxygen tanks in front of me. I was a drac, nobody cared. I grinned under my drac mask as I loaded the oxygen tanks, one by one, into the back of the car. Thirty tanks were loaded, and Neg and I were ready to go. I pushed the cart away from me, and climbed in the front seat.
It took my a second to realize there was no Negative Grenade. "Negative?!" I called frantically, twisting around in my seat. "Neegaative?" There was no answer, of course, just an eerie silence and an empty space where Negative should have been. "Negative, don't kid!" Stumbling out of my car, I saw there was a troupe of draculoids heading towards me. By now I had taken off my mask. There was nowhere to hide.
Instead, I jumped back in the car and pressed. It sped forward; this was my only desperate attempt to get away. The bulle
A Cliche Killjoy FanFic Chapter 1ZERO HERO'S P.O.V.
It's almost been a year out here in the desert. A year since I pulled the IV line out of Negative Grenade and wheeled his gurney out of the hospital, boxes and boxes of medication beside him. A year since the second trip back to retrieve the carts of oxygen tanks needed for Neg's survival. Two years since Neg himself was diagnosed with lung cancer - the specific name unknown.
Neg and I haven't even met the Fabulous Killjoys yet. At least, not the main four. We've definitely met several out here in the zones, people like House Rules and Atomic Nucleus(she really liked science, by the way). Mostly I've been keeping myself away from them, though, hiding myself and Negative Grenade in an abandoned shed along the road. We meet the 'Joys to stock up on food and catch up on news around the zones. But still, most of our information comes from Dr. Death Defying's radio station.
Today was oxygen day
Dear SantaDear Santa can you fix it for me
To live a day of my life pain free
Where bullies won't rip off my shirt
And, just for once, the bruises don't hurt
Can you please make it that for this one night
My parents get through it without a bad fight
Or that I have an hour without the growing fear
That in the morning I won't be here
Maybe if I am good today
I won't be beaten for being gay
And that I might not have to grieve
Over a friend killed for what they believe
Please don't make it another night on my own
All the rest of this year I have been so alone
Everyone I loved has gone and I'm tired and old
No money for the heating, the house is so cold
Let me find a nice place in which to stay
I'm not fussy; just a nice alley or friendly doorway
Santa what I would give for a crust of fresh bread
Or one night spent safe in a fluffy soft bed
Bring back my daughter, I need her alive
Go tell her killer not to drink and then drive
Tell my mom I love her and give her a hug
Let her know I'm sorry for over
If I can
Fix what I broke
But I still will try
To atone for my fault
And maybe someday I will
But for the time being I’m here
I’m waiting in limbo to hear you
Your voice can undo the locks that bind me
But you don’t hold the key that I need
Your key just made the lock tighter
So tight that I can’t breathe now
Then I hear the thought
Maybe I shouldn't
It’s not my place
To breathe air
Don't kiss me, you'll get blood in your mouth.I made the mistake of breathing.
Of opening my mouth and letting myself live.
The glass was still floating in the air like debris from a wreck to a dead man..
The glass instantly traveled to down my mouth and cut through my throat and tongue.
Scarring, burning, etching..
I made the mistake of coughing.
Letting my soul release the glass deep inside of me.
Ripping and shredding my insides, destroying what was left..
I made the mistake of loving you.
Holding your hand, Kissing your cheek, calling you beautiful..
Trying to force myself to be whole.
Trying to grab on to whatever sanity lay floating around.
And now I'm going to hurt you, by hurting myself.
By finally taking in gulps..
UnconditionalShooting stars burn holes in pockets,
Wishes don’t come true,
Lover’s tears corrode gold lockets,
But I still have you.
Dreams are crushed by fear unending,
Fame is a cruel tease,
But with such a friend, forgiving,
My hopes soar with ease.
Diamonds’ sparkle, bright and beaming,
Dims at close of day,
But our promise, ever gleaming,
Never fades away.
Faithful comrade, if I never
Grip those searing stars,
You will praise my weak endeavor;
Raise my dying heart.
Rain 2Sometimes it's hard to feel
But in the rain I know I'm real
It fills me with hope
Even if my clothes get soaked
Not everyone loves the rain
But it understands my pain
It seems to understand
When it takes my hand
It washes the tears from my face
And turns the world into a different place
The rain makes me feel like I'm alive
Not just struggling to survive
The Reflection in Your EyesThe fire burning inside
Is not something I can hide
But I’m no longer afraid to show
What you already know
I know I've said it once to you
In the time that followed I knew
What I said was perhaps too soon
I thought we played the same tune
You alone lit the fire inside my heart
No one else can claim that part
You've always been right here for me
When I blink you’re all I see
I need to be with you some day
I promise you I’ll find a way
But until that day is here
I hope that you will feel no fear
I need you like trees need light
When you speak my heart takes flight
And when I see my reflection in your eyes
I’ll know at last I need no disguise
The Winter storms are a lot like meThe Winter storms are a lot like me
We’re cold and harsh, we push away.
We hurt all those around us
but at heart, we’re like you
All that we would like
is to recieve
the same love
I mean.. (Couplet)I'd give everything,
To make this be.
I'd give anything,
To have you with me.
Of time not borrowed,
For you to just stay.
So very much sorrow,
It could end this day.
To call you my angel,
If you'd accept the name.
It's just so painful,
And such a shame.
Absolute ZeroAbsolute Zero
Deep down inside, reality so rough,
Paying for the one who was never sure enough.
Deep down inside, can you still see me?
Can you still remember the better version of me?
Deep down inside, staring to the skyline of this town,
Disappearing, lifting like shadows, down and down.
Paid for every tear and every smile,
Burnt out by the fire called life.
And can you hear me now,
When all that once was a miracle is completely down?
Hearts are torn apart, memories remain the same,
But somehow too painful when there’s only me to blame.
Deep down inside, reaching the absolute zero,
I’ve never promised I’d be your hero.
Deep down inside, can you still remember me?
Do you still know whether there once was a better version of me?
Deep under the absolute zero, hatred and cry,
‘cause the fallen angels can also die.
Under the absolute zero, beyond the wings of a wind,
All alone and broken, left behind blind,
The darkness within, surrounded by fire,